So true

If any one can help me in this case, my friend allways posts really funny things when she tells us about her status, i want to post some, any suggestions?

she posts things like:
I have just woke up, i would of woke up earlier but i was asleep.
right i think it is time to check the inside of my eyelids, ill be back in 8 hours.
i am falling asleep on the keyboard sfwoifhwoefijqofhwqoiehoiwgprihg
next door neighbour just asked me if he could have a skip outside our house, i told him yeah you can do ******* cartwheels round the block if you want. (meaning a skip for rubbish)

she comes out with some random things to, one day she said "what do moths eat?"